“Anger can trigger hatred, and hatred can trigger Unforgiveness “
“Anger is a very complicated human emotion that spawns an act of protectionism when one feels threatened.” In this blog, I am only looking at anger from a Biblical approach, but not from the complexity of worldview or worldly understanding.
A spiritually mature Christian should be cognizant that anger is an emotional catalyst for unforgiveness. You are the one with the key to the door; no one can open it but only you. You will need self-control. If you are unable to exercise discipline, you will lose your patience by reacting with fury.
As a Christian, let the scripture from the book of Proverbs, Chapter 29, verse 11 be part of your spiritual walk to break any temptation of Anger. “A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.” [Proverbs 29:11].
Our Christian faith tells us that with God everything is possible. So in this discussion we are not going to mix our belief system in Christ with any genetic component of how and why genetics influences anger.
That biochemical traits, emotional reactivity and originality would be left with the medical professionals to discuss. On the other hand, if you as a Christian have traits of anger, you may seek professional counselling and support it with prayers.
Our Holy Scriptures give us examples and explain that without listening calmly and carefully for clarity, one might act aggressively toward the other, and such a stance or behaviour is not good or wise.
Often, this is where the anger starts because we fail to let calm prevail over our reaction. The book of Proverbs sees such actions differently from overreactions. So the Bible states: “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” [Proverbs 15:1, ESV]. This verse is very clear and carries a lot of wisdom.
Whether in a calm or hot conversation, make sure you hold every misconception to avoid triggering anger. Let wisdom and spiritual maturity prevail. Listen carefully before reacting.
The book of James states, “Know this, my beloved brothers; let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God,” [James 1:19–20, ESV]. Don’t be reactive.
We know that Anger is a human problem. Anger, if unchecked, can cause lasting damage in our lives; it will wreck relationships; it will steal your peace away; it has everlasting emotions, and it will cause Unforgiveness.
All of us have acted in anger one way or another at some time in our past or recently, and often wished we hadn’t. Anger can cause hatred, and hatred triggers unforgiveness. As a Christian, learn from the experience and stop playing the victim.
So, here is the question: Is there a way that really works to solve problems and assert ourselves without being angry? Yes, of course. The Scripture verse below should be apparent to every Christian.
When we look at the book of Proverbs, verse 16:32, we are encouraged that true strength and wisdom are to overcome our anger and feelings without confrontation. “Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city,” [Proverbs 16:32, ESV]
Listen to this. When it comes to family and circle of friends, there are a lot of people that are familiar with our life or know us one way or another. They know us so well that they know precisely which “buttons” to push to make us lose our peace.
There are also another group of people you barely know at all. Others you have never in your wildest dreams met. Yet, the moment your eyes cross, you can feel the tension in your spirit and around you.
They may act rudely to you, and if you lose your temper, it would be egregious. Keep in mind the key to being slow to anger; otherwise, it may be a negative behaviour that ruins your spiritual relationship with the Lord.
These are temptations ready to break your spiritual maturity in Christ. The enemy is at work. The behaviour of the people is a reflection of the hearts of those unfamiliar strangers, but your reaction is a reflection of your own.
“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.” [Proverbs 4:23, ESV]
“These people unfortunately do not even know what drives them to do what they do knowingly or unknowingly when they step on toes.” They don’t have the simple etiquette to stop and say sorry. They don’t see any red line. Such awkward encounters could generate arguments and anger.
So here is the thing to look at or to do as a Christian. You don’t have to act spontaneously. Pause a moment and exercise your spiritual maturity, instead of allowing your anger to run your impulsiveness.
Create a cliché in your spirit about anger – that temper and emotions will not win a spiritual battle over you. Keep the door shut no matter which buttons are pressed. At times, you might feel trapped, thinking that because they are being loud or unkind, you have no choice but to react the same.
Nevertheless, don’t make the mistake of winning a fight against them, even if it feels like they are standing right in front of you with fingers pointing directly at you; do not try to unlock the door of anger that you’ve been working so hard to keep shut.
But here is the truth – just because someone is knocking on the door [pressing the anger buttons] doesn’t mean you have to open it. It could be so annoying, but take notice of this Scripture. “Let all bitterness and wrath and ANGER and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. [Ephesians 4:31, ESV]
When you are attacked, stay quiet to avoid a quarrel. Quarrel promotes Anger, and anger built in you births unforgiveness. You aren’t “losing” by staying quiet; you are ruling your own spirit, and the Scripture says it’s a greater victory than conquering an entire city.
Proverbs 22:24-25 states: “Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.”[Proverbs 22:24-25, ESV]
Spiritual maturity is found in the believer who realizes that their peace is a gift from God, and no human being has the authority to take it away without their permission. “As a Christian, you do not have to attend every argument you are invited to.”
Allow peace to rule your heart; do not allow ANGER to overtake your heart. “Peace I leave with you; ‘my peace’ I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” [John 14:27, ESV]
Strengthening your walk involves a daily prayer for “thick skin and a tender heart”—asking the Holy Spirit to be the buffer between someone else’s sharp words and your peace. Do not fall for anger.
When you refuse to “open the door” to anger, you break the cycle of conflict and keep your heart clean. Do not allow an “annoyance” to dictate the atmosphere of your soul. “For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarrelling ceases.” [Proverbs 26:20, ESV]
Let your strength be found in your silence as you grow in your spiritual life henceforth. Yield your “need to defend yourself” to the One who defends you perfectly.
Let’s thank the Lord for providing the grace and restraint we need for self-control in anxious moments. Let us control our anger to avoid quarrels for peace. It is only peace that affects not just our waking hours but also our sleep.
Our anger, worries and anxiety, when not controlled during an altercation, can also rob us of restful sleep that will, in the long term, turn into Unforgiveness – which is undignified to the Lord. “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offence.” [Proverbs 19:11].
Let us pray to the Lord to strengthen our spirit with wisdom so that we don’t let unkind words or frustrations pull us out of peace and self-control into anger with people, especially those closest to us.
Believe in the Lord; keep your confidence and trust in the Lord. It is the only way you can control your anxiety for peace to keep the faith and hope alive.
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